(From L to R) Eric, Sahar, Ryan, McKenzie, Knight, Jimmy, her?, Preston

MTV’s The Real World kicked off it’s 24th season with a return to New Orleans. The Real World is like a professional baseball player, if it succeeds one out of three times, its destined for the hall of fame. Two episodes in it looks like we have a regular Baby Ruth on our hands, onto the character descriptions, and a representative tweet from each one.

Ryan Leslie - Ryan has been the break away star of the first 2 episodes. A hair stylist from Tempe, Arizona, Ryan has already become the first member cast member in Real World history to use the words “Frat Boy”, “Tool” and “Xanax”, and all within in the first 30 minutes of  episode one! Ryan is a hair stylist, but he’s not gay and he claims that people who do think he’s gay “just don’t get it.”  Ryan’s hobbies include finding reasons to consider himself better than others, and drawing attention to himself. Through two episodes Ryan has offended the the gay roommate Preston, with a disparaging comment about gay people, He’s butted heads with Knight over Ryan’s assumption that 88% of other males in America can be classified as tools,  he offended Jemmye the southerner by calling her trailer trash, and he offended all male viewers of the show when he thought he had a chance with McKenzie, stick to your own league buddy.

Knight - Knight is a hockey player from Wisconsin, who went to school at Arizona State University. You’ve met guys like Knight before, two episodes in, he’s broken out the Borat style mankini, confessed to a pain killer addiction, and let us know that he’s slept with 50-60 women (nice.) Though considered “toolish” by Ryan the drama queen, Knight doesn’t let that bother him. While Ryan is off “emoting” in the corner of the bar, Knight is taking body shots off your girlfriend.

Jemmye- “It’s pronounced Jimmy…. Like a guy!” and with that line little Jemmye Carrol from Starkville, Missippi won hearts and minds all over this country. A 4 foot tall stripper, Jimmy enjoys casual sex and left-wing political views. She has a southern drawl that would get even the most ardent Mike Huckabee supporter aroused.  Jimmy claims to have only had sex with black men before, but as the two most normal people in the house, Jimmy and Knight are more of a sure thing to get it on than MTV is to throw Jersey Shore commercials at us during every commercial break. (hence forth refereed to as “Jimmy”)

McKenzie Coburn-  McKenzie is a beautiful 21-year old student from Jupiter, Florida. Definitely the most naive of the bunch, McKenzie is still finding her footing in the world and often shows her confusion by wearing a full starfish in her hair. It’s a testament to McKenzie’s overall beauty and sparkle that she can pull off this starfish and still be a fan favorite. The biggest worry for McKenzie going forward is whether her naivete makes her a prime target for the overall scumminess of Ryan, fight the good fight McKenzie,  resist Ryan and stick it out for the 3-way with Knight and Jimmy.

Eric- Softer than a carton of eggs. You know Marlo from The Wire? Eric is his exact opposite.

Sahar- First Muslim in Real World history, love interest of Eric, and overall snooze fest.

Ashlee- Female basketball player,  the kind of cast member that makes you wonder why they even cast her. Would much rather have Joey from RW hollywood, or another partner in crime for Knight.

Preston- Black, gay man from Boston. Brags about having an amazing fashion sense, crack addicted mother.