Last, night I was watching Mo’nique, as I try to do for a few minutes every night, and as usual I was impressed with her ability to fuse charm with humor and her unparalleled talents as a marketing whore. Mo’nique is not only a great comedian and actress, but she is the best salesperson I have ever seen. She is certainly not bashful about shilling for her guests, sponsors and supporters.

Like all great salespeople, Mo’nique has the ability to sell even when the customers know her game. Last night she held up a copy of the latest issue of Ebony Magazine to thank them for putting her on the cover. By the end of her impassioned thank you speech outlining Ebony’s historical significance to and impact on the African American community, Mo had ripped the subscription cards out of the magazine and was screaming enthusiastically at her audience to start buying Ebony subscriptions for their loved ones this Christmas.

In between yelling, “You go, Monique!” and frantically searching for a website to get my 85 year-old Jewish grandmother a subscription (I’m hoping she could use a break from watching “You’ve Got Mail” and “Sleepless In Seattle” all day, every day), I said to myself, “Wow…that has to be the best publicity Ebony Magazine has gotten in decades. I mean, is there anything that could start a buzz for a print publication better than the irresistibly huggable Mo’nique displaying a copy for all the world to see during her opening monologue?”

Less than 12 hours later, I found out that indeed there is: Tiger Wood’s penis.

I love this quote from the Playgirl rep:

We’re currently trying to authenticate the photos before we make any decisions on purchasing the Tiger Woods pics and ascertaining the value.

How hard could it be to authenticate those photos? It seems like a quick walk-through of every titty bar, night club and IHOP in whatever area Playgirl is in should turn up some broad who can identify Tiger’s cock.

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