Working under the assumption that you have better things to do with your day, I’ve been monitoring today’s shenanigans on Capitol Hill.

Originally, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, R-Minn., had been MC’ing the big event. But at some point, Rep. Tom Price, R-Ga., took over. Not sure why.

Anyway, here a log of the event:

Rep. Joe “You Lie” Wilson, R-S.C., took the stage a few minutes ago to a hero’s welcome — truly thunderous applause.

Rep. Jeb Hensarling, R-Texas, got in a big applause line when he pointed to the capitol building behind him, and said “You know that’s your house, and there are people inside who don’t belong there!

Rep. Joe Pitts: “This [health care bill ] is an attack on America and our freedom!”

Rep. Phil Roe, R-Tenn.: “Do you want a govt bureaucrat in charge of your gallbladder operation?”

Rep. Chris Smith, R-N.J.: “Obamacare will lead to massive increases in the killing of the unborn and the wounding of their mothers.”

Rep. Pete Olson, R-Texas — Asks crowd if they want a govt. bureaucrat in the operating room. Crowd indicates it does not. Makes Pete happy.

Rep. Todd Tiahrt, R-Kan. — Goes all Braveheart on the crowd. “They can’t take away our freedom ’cause we’re not going to let them, are we?”

Rep. Rob Bishop, R-Utah — Way too professorial. Lecturing about federalism. Losing the crowd…

Rep. John Mica, R-Fla. — Says his wife told him members of Congress “just don’t get it.” Crowd offers polite applause.

Rep. Michael McCaul, R-Texas: “This is a stand against tyranny.” Say “no to the Obamanation.”

Rep. Phil Gingrey, R-Ga.: No subsidizing illegal immigrants!

Rep. Roscoe Bartlett, R-Md.: Says bill contains the word “shall” 3400 times. Bachmann, standing behind him, looks confused but goes with it anyway.

Rep. Ted Poe, R-Texas — This bill will have the competence of FEMA, the efficiency of post office, compassion of IRS. Crowd goes bananas. Why does everyone beat on the post office? You send a letter Tuesday, it arrives Wednesday. Seems pretty good to me…

– Some unidentified guy takes the podium tells crowd to be polite and courteous when storming members offices — reminds them that there are undecided reps. to be persuaded. Crowd gives him the silent treatment.

– Bachmann takes the podium again! Announces she will give every member of the crowd a page of the health care bill — and tells them to ask their member to explain it to them. Crowd thinks this idea rocks.

For big finale, everyone on stage locks arms and sings God Bless America. Crowd sways.

Now, let’s see what happens when they get inside the capitol.