One: The Steelers will not win a playoff game. Someone get these guys a Bloody Mary, because they have one bad Super Bowl hangover. A Bengals loss would have put the Steelers right back in the hunt for a first-round bye. Now, they might be playing a third string QB in Baltimore next Sunday night. Forget a repeat. This team is average without Polamalu, who will be out another month and won’t be close to 100% when he returns. They need to take at least two out of four against the Ravens (twice), Packers and Dolphins to make the playoffs, and that’s no guarantee. Even if they do make it, this doesn’t look like a team that will go into Cincinnati, Foxboro or San Diego and pull off the upset.
Two: The Bengals have blown their first-round bye—the Pats will grab the two seed. That Raiders loss was huge. With a win, they would have firmly controlled the two seed, and could have afforded a loss in San Diego or Pittsburgh. Now, they have to win both games to fend off a Patriots team that, 4th and 2 shenanigans aside, is playing great and will win out if they knock off the Saints next Monday Night (which I think they will.) I don’t mean to go too hard on this year’s feel-good story, but if they want to contend for a championship, that bye is huge.
Three: The Broncos are dead. They’ve lost four straight by an average of 20 points. Kyle Orton moved Sunday like a black-out-drunk, frat boy stumbling for the last train out of Manhattan. I have a petition for CBS and Fox: remove the Broncos from your playoff picture graphics. I don’t care if they’re technically 6-4. The Titans have a better shot of making the post-season. Get ‘em out of here. They choked on their filet minon during the bye week, and for weeks we all just thought they might be asleep, but now, that carcass is starting to stink.
Four: The Texans will make the playoffs if they win tonight. Now, Keep in mind, I don’t think the Texans will win. I think the Titans are one of the best dozen or so teams in the NFL and will pull the upset. However, if they get a big win here, they’ll be in a great position to upset the Colts in Houston next week. The Colts look physically beat; they’re eeking out wins in an amazing fashion, but I really think a 2nd straight road game would be too much for them. At 7-4, the Texans would have a wildcard berth in their hands.
Five: The Giants will recapture the NFC East lead on December 6th. This prediction says more about the Giants opponents than the Giants themselves. I don’t think there’s much of a chance Denver rebounds and beats the Giants on Thanksgiving, and the Cowboys offense is in a total free-for-all, scoring 14 points in the past two games. Teams are aggressively taking away the crossing routes to Hurd and Miles, and Romo appears lost. They only won Sunday because the Redskins dropped two easy picks and missed two field goals. They won’t get the same luck in Giants Stadium.
Six: Let’s take it one step further: The Cowboys won’t make the playoffs. After Dallas barely beats Oakland on Turkey Day, rile up the drunken desert conversation with this prediction. I honestly see the Cowboys losing four out of their last five after Thanksgiving to piss away their season again. It’s in their heads. They’re already scared of it. Road games in New York, New Orleans and Washington will be really tough. I can’t see them outscoring San Diego at home. They’re destined to be knocked out of the playoffs again on the last day of the year by the Eagles.
Seven: The Packers will survive injuries to Al Harris and Aaron Kampman. The Kampman injury isn’t as big as advertised; the switch to the 3-4 was already crippling his play. Harris is a good, physical cornerback and a big loss. A couple of things will help: first, they only play one top passing team down the stretch (the Steelers), and secondly, they’ll get a freebie in week 17, since the Cardinals will be locked into a first-round home playoff game and won’t play Warner and co. most of the game.
Eight: The Vikings are going to the Super Bowl. We can’t avoid it: Brett’s boys are consistently more dominant than anyone else. They have a better D and running game than New Orleans, and Favre is playing better than any other NFC QB. He has a rating of over 112! Their big, boring wins and huge divisional lead make the Vikes easy to ignore, but they might be better than the 10-0 teams.
Nine: There will be seven new coaches next season. Where? In Buffalo, Cleveland, Oakland, Washington, Dallas, Chicago, and Carolina. Out of those fired, only John Fox will find another head coaching gig next year.
Ten: Week Twelve playoff implications will jolt you out of your red wine/turkey hangover. You’ll be mighty tempted to boil up the coffee and order NFL Network for Broncos-Giants, do or die on T-giving night. You’ll love watching the Texans take a big swing at home against the undefeated Colts, the Skins going to Philly for an NFC East blood bath, the Titans and Cards in a “holy-shit these teams are pretty damn good” game, the Steelers and Ravens playing for their playoff lives, and best of all, Patriots-Saints on Monday Night Football. That one might give John Madden a heart attack.
Check back for Power Rankings tomorrow in Faster Football, Exact record predictions here tomorrow, and Week 12 picks on Wednesday. Good luck pushing through ‘till your holiday. Remember, a pre-Thanksgiving cocktail never hurt.
Photo by SMH
finsfan10 says:
How can you honestly think the titans are in the top dozen teams in the NFL? Yes they have three straight win, but to no team that is worth mentioning? I just wanted to know the logic behind that.
JB says:
I think I remember you. I read some absolutely ridiclious article earlier this year from you and commented how I hoped you weren't getting paid any shotty money for you sad lack of NFL knowledge.
One, the giants are no one. They were one overtime away from being .500 and yet to beat ONE SINGLE WINNING TEAM ALL SEASON AT HOME. Whoops on that one. I know you have some kind of fantasy to make out with Eli manning, but believe it or not he is straight unlike you.
Two, Dallas is going to lose to the giants and washington? Hmmm. The east is weak son. Did you not notice? Did you look at the remainding schedule for the Giants and Eagles? Probably not. I woudln't expect you to actually back up your thoughts with evidence. Their remaining schedules is just as hard if not harder. If dallas beats the giants in two weeks, it's almost a lock for them in their division.
Three, Green Bay is not fine. They play the steelers and ravens yet ontop of at chicago. The 5 and 6 seed for the playoffs will be the falcons and a NFC east team, or two nfc east teams. Nice cute thought though. I guess them beating up on detroit, browns, st louis, chicago, tampa bay really has you tricked huh?
I bet you lose every NFL bet you ever make along with fantasy weekly then sit their with a dumb founded face don't you?
=)
sorry buddy
JB says:
P.S. the steelers won't win a playoff game? Wow, have you been around in december and january the last few years when big ben was healthy? Guess not. Plus their pro bowl safety will be back by then.
Do you live in some kind of fantasy land?
HEY!! I bet you think if the titans somehow squeeze in they will be the team that knocks them off huh?
Ok, your turn now!! Roll the candy land dice again for your next prediction bonehead
Joe Lazauskas says:
Thanks for the comments:
PhinsFan: I think last night's game answered your question. Name me 12 teams in the NFL you think would beat the Titans head to head right now on a neutral field.
JB-I love your passion. I did, in fact, look at the remaining schedules. Basically, I think the Giants win their remaining divisional games (Eagles/Cowboys at home, Skins on the road), lose to the Vikings and split Panthers/Broncos. That gets them to 10-6.
I think the Eagles lose to the Giants and then win three out of four against Redskins/Falcons/49ers/Broncos and beat the Cowboys. That makes them 10-6.
I think the Cowboys lose to the Giants and Eagles and Saints, and likely one more game. But even if we give them the benefit of the doubt, they're 10-6.
With all three at 10-6, weirdly, the Giants win the division, the Eagles take the WC (based on divisional tie-breakers, they'd have a better conference record), and the Cowboys lose out on a tie-breaker for the 2nd WC spot to the 10-6 Packers. If the boys are 9-7, they're screwed.
I have watched the Steelers in January, and I remember a first-round playoff loss to Jacksonville in 2007, not just the SB victories. This Steeler team resembles the 07 squad closer than the 05 or 08 teams.
I think I remember you, too-Didn't you blow up when I said the Steelers would lose two out of three after winning the opener? Guess who was right, champ.
JB says:
I think your love for the giants is very bias. Playing washington, eagles, and cowboys will not be 3 wins. Those are all head to head solid bang them up games. Eli still has no recievers unless they face weak defenses. Their defensive backfield is tore up since they loss phillips. Giants haven't won a really BIG game since they lost plax. Atlanta was probably the first descent win they had since then. Giants 6 wins came against teams that only had 1 win when they faced them. (Oakland, KC, Tampa, Washington, ect)
Eagles are all about the big play capability. When they play stiffer backfields that take away that teams like oakland can beat philly. Plus, the running game is more dynamically needed in the colder months then the passing game working. There is no more westbrook if you haven't noticed. No more dawkins to hold that defense together.
You assume the cowboys are the T.O. circus still. This team has changed it's mentality, and are one year away from getting a descent coach. The only game they lost all season not in the last play was the packer game. Which was against a team that was over the top desperate for a win. Plus, the blatant calls were horrific at that game. Did you not watch? I did, I was at the game. Worst called game of the year. The calls that gave the packers the ball on their own 10 when it was clearly not a fumble. The call that marked the punter 8 yards further out of bounds that gave them their first 3. Then the horrible pass interference calls on their only long drive for a TD. Or, not giving mccarthy a 15 yard penalty for using 3 challenges in one half. There were about 10 plays at that game they didn't even play on the big screen so no one could see.
Dallas's regular season record vs. the giants the last 3 years is like 6-2.
You must be a packer fan to see 10-6. You don't get it, they lost two of their three best 'ONLY' players on defense. Packers have NO chance against baltimore. NO chance against the steelers. And NO chance IN chicago. That's lovie's trade. To ruin the packers and to beat them. The split their games every fricken year if not lovie winning both. Look that up too.
Plus you have the wrong guy oxy moron. Not even a steelers fan. Just not as dumb as you to not realize that if troy get's back in the backfield and ben stop's seeing blurry images this team will be the same as last year.
JB says:
No longer have time to respond to you now. 4 day vacation for the office, good luck with your 'predictions'. You are about as good as Keshawn Johnson is on espn. Dumb and lost