Pedro Martinez’s arm may not be as good as it once was, but his mouth is still running at full strength.  And to prove his baseball bona fides, he’s threatening to strip.

The Cy Young-winning pitcher, who signed a contract with the Philadelphia Phillies last month and is currently rehabbing in the minors, recently threatened to take off his clothes to prove that he never took steroids.

Martinez, who emphasized that he still only weighs only “188″ pounds,  told reporters :

“I’m going to start stripping my clothes off and show people that I never had acne on my back. I’m going to start stripping in front of everyone. … If I did use it before they need to give me money back. That bleep didn’t work.”

No thanks, dude. We’ll take your word for it.

While funny quotes don’t prove that Martinez never used steroids, they do prove something else - that he is the most entertaining quotesmith in baseball.  And he’s done it in three languages - English, Spanish, and French (he learned the language while pitching for the Montreal Expos.)

Here are some of Martinez’s most memorable quotes through the years:

* “If I didn’t pitch inside, I’d be at home, pitching to my nephews.”- Undated quote

* “There’s no crying in baseball. If [Gerald Williams] wants to cry, let him cry.” - 2000, after he plunked Williams and started a brawl

* “I don’t believe in damn curses. Wake up the damn Bambino and have me face him. Maybe I’ll drill him in the ass.” - 2001, after asked if the Red Sox were cursed against the Yankees

* “Georgie Porgie, he might buy the whole league, but he doesn’t have enough money to buy fear to put in my heart.” - 2003, after George Steinbrenner griped about him headhunting Yankee players

* “Who is Karim Garcia?” - 2003, after plunking Garcia in the ALCS and starting a bench-clearing melee

* “What can I say? I just tip my hat and call the Yankees my daddy.” - 2004, after losing to the Yankees

* “If you reverse the time back 15 years ago, I was sitting under a mango tree without 50 cents to actually pay for a bus.  And today, I was the center of attention of the whole city of New York.” - 2004, after losing to the Yankees in the ALCS and hearing “Who’s your daddy” chants from Yankee fans

* “I have a small frame and when I hurt all I could do was take a couple of Aleve or Advil, a cup of coffee and a little mango and an egg — and let it go!” - 2008, explaining about pitching through the pain

However, Pedro might have to eat not just mango and egg, but his words, when it comes to that above quote. Last year with the Mets, when asked about Jimmy “The Team to Beat” Rollins, Martinez joked, “We have to make Jimmy swallow his tongue.”

Now that they’re Phillies teammates, Pedro will have to eat his words. Hopefully, he’ll do that fully clothed.

Photo by Eric Kilby

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