MLB: No, Our Website Isn’t Broken, The Royals Really Are In First Place


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After a flurry of complaints and widespread confusion, Major League Baseball responded to rumors that was erroneously listing the Kansas City Royals in first place in the AL Central.

“Our website isn’t broken” said CIO John McHale Jr. “The Kansas City Royals really are in first place. The Twins are right behind them. The AL Central is not reporting information upside-down, nor are the outcomes of games being altered to promote parity. Our website is safe, secure, and functioning properly.”

A report in the New York Post alleging “possibly dozens of compromised final scores, or maybe a website error involving a highly skilled and maybe dangerous hacker from Kansas City” had prompted a wave of thousands of angry emails to flood McHale’s inbox.

McHale fielded questions during a 22-minute press conference following the Royals’ rainout against the Detroit Tigers, growing visibly agitated by its conclusion. “For Christ’s sake it’s been less than 20 games. Talk to me when the Rays or Astros make the playoffs.”

At the same press conference, the lone All-Star from last season’s squad, Billy Butler, said he hopes the Royals will continue to play .500 ball. “It’s about time we had a chance in this division.”

Following the washout in Detroit against the defending American League Champions, which the Royals are considering “as good as a tie,” Billy Butler suggested Kansas City plans to defy the odds at least through the end of the month.