49ers’ Fan Backlash
San Francisco 49ers’ fans are converging on message boards and blogs to post things about how the 49ers don’t need Michael Crabtree because he is a prima donna, TO2.0 and generally a big, fat pain in the ass who will ultimately hurt the franchise. While this all may be true, how many spectacular touchdowns from Crabtree will it take to turn those sentiments into varying shades of “I don’t care if Michael Crabtree spends a torrid night in Vegas with my wife, posts the video on youtube and slaps the URL across the back of his helmet. I love him because I am a true fan! 49ers 4 life!”? I am guessing about one.
Give Chris Johnson the Damn Ball!
Jeff Fisher is not putting the ball in Chris Johnson’s hands at least 20 times a game, and it is eating away at my soul. Out of all of the surprise and absurdity coming out of the 0-4 Tennessee Titans, the fact that they don’t give CJ the rock more often is perhaps the most astounding. After Adrian Peterson, he is the best playmaker in the league coming out of the backfield. Every time he has the ball in his hands, it is a potential touchdown. Whatever happened to running your tailback into the ground until his knees are bone on bone? That has been a proven formula to win in the NFL for years, and I don’t see why anybody would deviate from it. You don’t need cartilage in your knees to kick ass on “Dancing With the Stars” when you retire.
Oakland Raiders’ Coach Tom Cable Possibly Being Arrested
This only bothers me because allegedly punching an assistant coach seems like the least of Tom Cable’s crimes. He should be being arrested for crimes against humanity and tried at the Hague for what he is subjecting JaMarcus Russell and the viewing public to. I realize that right now Russell is not cut out to be a starter in the NFL, and he is showing clear signs that he never will be. But Cable is not doing him any favors. Despite the fact that Russell was only completing about 40% of his passes going into the game against Houston last week, the Raiders still passed 13 out of 21 times on first down. This is not counting sacks, which were also obviously meant to be passing plays. So off the bat, a vast majority of the Raiders’ series saw a 60% chance Russell would be facing a 2 and 10. They also passed on second down about half the time. And running is the one thing Oakland is allegedly passable at, accidental ironic yet bad pun not withstanding. Keep in mind that Houston was on pace to allow more yards on the ground than any team in NFL history going into last week’s eventual blowout. That’s the kind of coaching that should have Cable falling asleep every night while staring at the “Milosevic Was Here” graffiti scratched into the wall of his cell.
Braylon Edwards’ Rivalry With LeBron James
I don’t even know where to begin with this. Does your nemesis have to know you are alive in order for it to be a rivalry? It must hurt a guy with an ego like Braylon Edwards to learn that in the eyes of an entire city, he is as worthless as any of the other subjects when compared to the King himself. Of course, Braylon is no longer in Cleveland, and he did escape from the Browns, where “The Dogg Pound” has literally come to be a place where complete dogs are housed until age and injury force the franchise to put them down. Everybody wins. So this story should be quashed. But I have faith that Braylon is fool enough to keep it alive somehow.
Michael Vick’s Documentary on BET
This is annoying on multiple levels. First of all, the idea being promulgated by the BET stuffed shirts and Vick himself that this could be an opportunity for kids to witness a blueprint of how to overcome adversity is hilariously disingenuous at best. Michael Vick teaching kids to overcome adversity reminds me of Isiah Thomas writing a book advising people on what it takes to succeed in business. The only advice either of them can really provide is “Be really awesome at sports.” But what is really eating away at me is BET’s pretension that by calling it a documentary it somehow has more value than your run-of-the-mill reality show when at the end of the day it’s really just a one man “Tool Academy.”
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Photo by Ed Yourdon
