Last weekend it was reported that Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange was hospitalized for undisclosed reasons and today we find out why - attempted suicide. I know what you might be thinking right… death by Sybian? No. Apparently he tried stabbing himself to death, suffering six “hesitation wounds” and three deep plunges. His mother found him at his Hoboken apartment at death’s door, covered in blood. One more second, and he would have been playing harp with Hank the angry dwarf. Surgeons were able to save him however despite the severity of the injuries. What a mess - literally and figuratively.

After the initial report of the hospitalization, Howard went on the air making cryptic remarks about Artie, which led me to believe something more serious than his usual drug related BS had happened. Truth to tell, it doesn’t come as a big surprise. The guy’s been a walking train-wreck for years. It’s a bit sad though as the particularly violent method he used to try and off himself speaks to a deep self hatred.  I hope he can get his act together and find some measure of peace in his life.

Now, speaking of people who I’d wish would kill themselves…

Tila Tequila.

I’m loathe to even discuss her, as she’s really not worth the electricity it takes to type this, but I must say the way she’s been using the death of her “wifey” to get her name in the press lately is just so indescribably nauseating - even by today’s reality shlock standards. I know the grief must be weighing her down, but she’s really been keeping herself busy lately. First she gets into some Junior High twitter feud with major twit Perez Hilton, and yesterday she instigated a kerfuffle with Nicky Hilton and Bijou Phillips over her “wifey’s” dogs. Seems wifey dear had left the K-9s over at the mongoloid Mogwai’s digs before she died. The Johnson family sent Hilton and Phillips over to rescue the dogs from being eaten and that’s when Tequila called the cops. Eventually the dogs were allowed to leave with Hilton and Phillips, and the Mongoloid Mogwai went without dinner.

She later took to her new blog to talk to her fans about the incident, stating that the Johnsons plan to euthanize the pooches and bury them with their dead daughter. After reading this, the thing that struck me was the 500 comments of support she got from her fans! Who..or more to the point WHAT would be a supportive fan of this freak?

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