Fame

Corey Haim Has Died

Dipayan Gupta — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:19:23 +0000

Poor Corey Haim has passed away. The LAPD has launched an investigation since Corey’s body was found in his apartment early this morning, but they suspect a drug overdose. Corey was only 38 years old!

Best known as a child actor in the 80’s, Corey’s drug problem derailed his career long ago. Just when he seemed to be back on track, costarring with Corey Feldman in the 2006 reality series “The Two Coreys,” his continued drug abuse nixed the third season.

The Washington Post cites a 2004 interview with the British tabloid The Sun, in which Corey described the depths to which he had fallen:

I started on the downers which were a hell of a lot better than the uppers because I was a nervous wreck. But one led to two, two led to four, four led to eight, until at the end it was about 85 a day — the doctors could not believe I was taking that much. And that was just the Valium — I’m not talking about the other pills I went through.

No word from his best friend, Corey Feldman, yet.

So in the meantime:

Heidi Montag Actually Funny on Funny or Die (Video)

Dipayan Gupta — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:32:23 +0000

Heidi Montag is getting ready for that Oscar in 2011. Starring in Funny or Die’s recent vid on credit card reform (no, seriously) she’s actually… funny! God knows how many takes it took but… I think Heidi Montag can actually act (yes, seriously!).

Nothing like “The Hills” to hone your craft.

What else? Well, the only slightly less ridiculous looking Sharon Osbourne, who recently admitted to spending £25,000 ($37,514) on her face and £300,000 ($450,393) on a tummy tuck et al, now regrets having blown her breasts out of proportion.

Said the 57 year-old to New! magazine (bless the British for titles like these):

Heidi Montag Says No to Plastic from Heidi Montag

I wish I had never had my breasts done. The have put these bloody great bags in that are too ****ing round… It is like [having] a waterbed on your chest. I hate my [breasts]. I want to have the bags taken out – then I will put them on eBay. (courtesy New! magazine)

Quelle modestie. Speaking of which, guess who else joined the PC police? DAVID BECKHAM!

The famously tattooed footballer just added a new tat to the collection - a replica of Renaissance master Francesco Francia’s painting of Cupid and Psyche. Except that Beckham placed a veil over her lady bits. See the difference?

Lady Gaga Loves Exaggeration: Twitter Translation

Anna Pamela Calinawan — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 22:06:42 +0000

Okay, I guess that’s a given. Lady Gaga loves excess. You can see this in just a quick glimpse at her Twitter. Does Lady Gaga like her fans? No. She LOVES her fans. She LOVES them so much, she could DIE. Lady Gaga’s emotions to the average person’s are like a gushing, geyser of rainbows to the paltry condensation on a paper cup. In order to understand them, we have provided The Faster Times translation. Here is a visual representation:

Lady Gaga

TFT Translation

LadyGaga: What a fucking night. Sweating, pumping, dancing, mental human beings my fans are. Paws for miles and liquor. Freedom! Ill never leave u

TFT Translation: My fans were very excited tonight. They showed a great amount of enthusiasm and energy. Many seemed inebriated. I feel committed to them.

LadyGaga: 2 sold out O2 arenas in london, I’m so excited to see my little monster 2nite they may need to have a stretcher ready for me. I can’t wait!
TFT Translation: I am so famous. I am worried that the excitement will render me unconscious.

LadyGaga: since im living nowhere right now and live on the road with my props+wigs.(which is everything I own)i suppose my fans, in a way, livewithme
TFT Translation: I feel displaced by the amount of traveling that my job requires.

LadyGaga: Watch very closely as the magical angel and I are swallowed by the rainbow twister, and left stranded on the Glitter Way.
TFT Translation: ???

LadyGaga: rub that glitter + grease around, can’t wait for you to see the new show little monsters!
TFT Translation: My fans and I are going to get gussied up for one another!

LadyGaga: Hair bleach makes for a brilliant morning. On way to rehearsal for world tour. Strapping on my leather boots, time to dance for my life.
TFT Translation: Look good, feel good.

Roger Ebert Speaks Again, Makes Oscar Predictions for Oprah (Video)

Dipayan Gupta — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 20:28:43 +0000

Legendary film critic Roger Ebert - whose bout with thyroid cancer left him unable to talk, eat or drink - has spoken! Debuting his new found voice on Oprah this afternoon, Ebert brought his wife to tears as the latest text-to-speech software imitated his old accent.

Scottish company CereProc’s new system has been able to create a voice that is shockingly similar to Ebert’s own, meaning that he no longer has to settle for a robotic monotone. He even made his annual awards picks, telling Oprah that “”I can’t remember a year when it’s been easier to predict the Oscars.”

So what does he think?

Well, Ebert says that Mo’Nique will win best supporting actress for her role in “Precious,” Christoph Waltz will pick up the best supporting actor award for “Inglorious Basterds,” while Jeff Bridges and Sandra Bullock will win the best actor and actress awards for their respective roles in “Crazy Heart” and “The Blind Side.” As for best director and best movie, Ebert thinks that Kathryn Bigelow will be walking home with both with “The Hurt Locker.”

Robin Thicke Cannot Dance, and Boner Is Missing

Dipayan Gupta — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 23:32:35 +0000

So yes, this post is several weeks late. I honestly should have caught my fellow (pseudo) Canadian’s performance on Letterman ages ago, but, like, who actually watches all these Late Night/Tonight/This Morning/Last Afternoon shows anyway? Anyway what made me YouTube Robin Thicke’s “Shakin It 4 Daddy” wasn’t some mafia-wannabe’s tricked out SUV blasting this ish from the corner. No.

It was Michelle Trachtenberg.

You see, Dawn Summers (do kids even watch reruns of Buffy these days?) was in a car with James Van Der Beek (Dawson, where have you been??) when her “friend” Robin’s song came on the radio. Michelle was all like “this is my jam,” and proceeded to do a pretty good cover of Nicki Minaj’s rap.

And to cut a long story short, that’s how I ended up searching for Robin Thicke’s video:

Appalling. Everyone gave Justin Timberlake all sorts of crap for claiming that he had a “ghetto pass” (subsequently revoked after the Janet Jackson Nipplegate, though I’m sure it’s been reinstated by now) but this Robin Thicke guy thinks he can vamp around onstage with impunity? Jesus.

I guess he’s trying, at least. Perhaps it’s the clash of genres that’s so jarring. The (studio version) of the song is pretty decent R&B, but the dancing is all Adam Lambert/white boy glamtastic.

At the end of the day, this whole game of free association brings us to what really matters. And what really matters is that BONER IS MISSING! Boner! What happened???

So here’s an old pic (and two new ones) of Andrew Koenig, aka the actor who played Boner on “Growing Pains” alongside Robin Thicke’s dad Alan (Dr. Jason Seaver!). Well, it’s how he looks now. Koenig was last seen in Vancouver, BC, on February 14. If anyone’s seen him, call the police!!

“My Girl Went Through My Cellphone”: Ludacris’ Latest Mocks Tiger Woods

Dipayan Gupta — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 22:21:52 +0000

Better 3 months late than never.

On the plus side for Tiger, his Nike sponsorship is said to continue.

Whitney and Janet, Back on Stage

Dipayan Gupta — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:15:35 +0000

Whitney Houston’s working her way back to the US since she launched her “Nothing But Love” 2010 world tour in Seoul this month. She’s already made it to Brisbane, but she’s dogged by bad reviews and rumors of even worse behavior. A review of her premiere performance praised her “charismatic stage presence,” but the concert as a whole was riddled with “technical problems” and Whitney leaned heavily on her backup singers for support.

Think that’s bad? It only gets worse. While she was able to pull off a handful of high notes in Korea, she struggled - and failed - to entertain the crowds in Brisbane (see the clip above), where several audience members walked out of the show, despite having paid around $165 AUD to attend. In the immortal words of one really teed-off Aussie, “she couldn’t entertain a dead rat.”

Which is sad. Really sad. Because the Whitney Houston of yore had the Voice that set the standard. But while she’s lacking vocal chops, at least one review was kind enough to note that Whitney is looking healthy, fit and toned, having morphed into ” an old-school performer, willing to give something of herself.”

That’s certainly what she did here in Osaka (cue, an AWESOME video):

Oh yeah, and the National Enquirer says she’s dying. Good old National Enquirer. Just because that John Edwards/Rielle Hunter piece turned out to be true, doesn’t mean we’re going to believe everything you say. Kudos on that Pulitzer nom, though!

What else? Hmm. Well, Janet Jackson’s going back on tour with what remains of the Jackson Five. Except she won’t be performing as Janet. No, she’s stepping in as MICHAEL. Which is odd, and sweet, but still pretty creepy. Socialite Life reports:

Jermaine, Marlon, Tito and Jackie Jackson mounted the effort to pay tribute to their brother’s “This Is It” comeback tour that never was, even incorporating some of the sets that were not used into the new show. Janet now has decided to step in to substitute for Michael.

Yup. Definitely creepy. But well intentioned. Which is more than I can say for this:

Yeah. That’s Beyoncé and Alicia Keys on the set of their next video, in Brazil. It’s gonna put Shakira to shame. You know it!

Sienna Miller and Jude Law on Twitter

Anna Pamela Calinawan — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 04:55:41 +0000

Turns out Sienna Miller (who was also on an episode of Top Gear recently) and Jude Law are back together! Despite the very public cheating debacles, Sierra thinks Jude’s “great.” Well, the public has been a fairly large part in the orgy that is their relationship. What have they been thinking, in the last 6 hours and under 140 characters, about these two?

Howtowinfriends: see GWriter yet? Hipster hype removed, I found it very average. But hey, i still get Ewan McGregor & Jude Law confused.

TeamJuliony: #imattractedto foreign men (I.e. Julian mcmahon (aussie), Jude law (British), @tonydovolani (Albanian) & Keith urban (Aussie).

MattBoni: If Jude Law raced SX and was more of a bad ass his name would be Matt Boni

sam4tgl: @MattBoni if Jude law raced sx and was more badass his name would be Jude RAW! Lol

yosoylagaba: Jude Law… ¿Por qué no me das 3 hijos?
(TFT Spanish-to-English translation: Jude Law… Why do you not give me 3 children?)

earlycarlia: jude law ga bkln ngemis2 sm lo @rarasjati. HE’S MINEEEE. oh ya Alex Turner too. Keep your hands off!!
(TFT translation: ???)

jellybeanhorror: ALRPSDLPODGKOFASGFH JUDE LAW CRYING ALPSÇÇALSDÇKDGFGH OMG I WANNA EAT HIM ADLÇSZGKFG <3

jellybeanhorror: and he’s got big hands and he’s a big man. I WANT JUDE LAW TO HUG ME.

ivienmleigh: Sienna Miller’s first time driving a manual gear box was on Top Gear, there is hope for me yet!

cuervz: totally crushing on sienna miller on topgear

JrVolks: Sienna Miller on Top Gear: dreams do come true. Thank you England.

Tiger Woods Apologizes: Twitter Doesn’t Buy It

Anna Pamela Calinawan — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:36:07 +0000

The Twitter responses to Tiger Woods’ broadcast apology have been flying in. What does the general public have to say about this Tiger’s sorry tail? The tweets from all over the world have ranged from the indifferent (yet not too indifferent to tweet) to the highly personal (seems like Tiger’s public sex life has created a trend).

Tell us, Twitter!

mungiporna: Tiger Woods försvarstal = likvaka
(TFT Swedish to English Translation: Tiger Woods Apology = Deathwatch)

NewYoungComedy: Quick fix for Tiger - add a “G” to his name. No one could hate T-I-Double Guh - EEERRRR Woods.

lolbones: tiger woods isnt sorry…if i was him and had dat many hoes i wouldnt be

mjdx: I wish Paris Hilton would make another sex tape or something. I’m so sick of hearing about Tiger Woods.

JessicaNAllen: Just saw the Tiger Woods Apology he sound just like my ex boyfriend up there lmao “i lost myself blah blah blah” smh lol

fallenrogue: This just in: Tiger Woods apologizes and I don’t give a shit.

supremus: So when is Tiger Woods writing is auto biography and when will it be made into an Oscar winning drama? I vote for Jamie Fox to essay woods.

ThyExposer: U get indicted @Pleasure_C I never knew fucking hoes was a diease…I got w/e tiger woods got I think…how do u cure tht shit?

EllyPirelly: Are you serious? Tiger Woods had a press conference? Why? Did he murder someone? Geeez, sometime the US is kinda bigoted.

JimNorton: I. AM. TIGER. WOODS. AND. I. AM. SORRY. Jesus Christ. That press conference had the heartfelt sincerity of a hostage video.

Wisco: WTF? Tiger Woods couldn’t get more press today if he’d announced a cure for cancer

Jhunjhunwala: Tiger Woods - all he wanted to do his entire life was put balls in holes .You people won’t even let him do that in peace.

bridgetherrmann: Tiger Woods, You don’t owe me an apology. You don’t owe ANYONE an apology except for your wife & children. GET OFF MY TV & DO THAT.

vdubya: So, Tiger Woods just apologized for having sex? Sounds like my Saturday nights after doing it with the wife. #rimshot #shecky

highongluons: tiger woods is an inspiration to imperfect people everywhere! good for him! i wish tiger and his family the very best

naoiseryan: At last, an apology from Tiger Woods. I will finally be able to sleep at night knowing he is sorry for letting me down and being a slut.

flickor: Tiger Woods was put on this earth to entertain us playing golf. Not with this transparent damage control crap.get a divorce & grab ur clubs

AnalogMeat: Karma will soon knock Tiger Woods down a notch once he loses rest of that squiggly patch of hair on his head.

Christ0fer: Who is tiger woods?

Oh, Christ0fer. Seems like that’s the question this whole heartbreaking ordeal has left us with. Who is the real Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods’ Press Conference LIVE, 11 a.m. EST (Video)

Dipayan Gupta — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 15:46:03 +0000

Let’s be real: y’all were kinda disappointed by how the whole Tiger scandal fizzled out. Now Nancy Grace is back to talking about domestic terrorism. Bummer. THANKFULLY, Tiger has our corner! He’s giving his first press conference since his life came tumbling down, TODAY. And you can catch it here!

Take that lunch break, early!