A plea: Could we please ditch the quarterlife crisis? It’s one of pop psychology’s worst inventions — the idea that 20-somethings inevitably suffer a moment of soul-destroying angst, brought on by the realities of post-college life and the still-clear memories of campus salad days. And it’s B.S.
Only in a country as developed as America could we even consider pathologizing success: Kids who leave college and land good jobs that, guess what, aren’t able to fulfill their every whim. Only in a country that coddles its children into believing not only that each of them can be president, but will be president, could the stability of a good life be called a let down. I’m sure there are more than a few kids out their whining about their soul-sucking $50,000-a-year job. There are also a lot who are just having a hell of a good time being young — and a lot, especially outside the United States, who can only dream of one day making 50k. If the quarterlife crisis is real at all, it’s the psychological equivalent of obesity, a problem brought on by our own wealth.
Nevertheless, every year, at about this time, the media trot out a few pieces about poor college grads facing the angst of middle-class life. 2009’s lead-off batter is the Washington Post, which tries to tie in the economic pain of the current recession:
In the case of Buchanan, who is now 26, her job made her unhappy
because she didn’t know what she really wanted out of her career. Then
in March this year, the bad economy made her decision for her: She was
laid off. Suddenly she found herself having to reexamine her life.“Maybe I want a career totally out of the ordinary — say like being a flight
attendant,” she wrote on her blog, Life in Pink. “I’d love to travel
and meet new people. But to be honest? I just . . . don’t know. At all.”Lauren Kellar, a counselor at the Center for Well Being in Falls Church, has
seen many of her quarter-life clients laid off or facing pay cuts. Some
have to ask their parents for help with paying bills, and some even
have to move back home — a big blow to their self-esteem, she said.
Hey, that sucks. But getting laid off in a recession is hardly unique to twenty-somethings, now or ever. Telling twenty-somethings that their experience is somehow different and special only facilitates egoism. It makes 25 the new 15 by creating a myth that, even late in the game, anyone can be anything they want. The quarterlife crisis becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: We write books about it, talk about it on TV, and pretty soon everyone in their twenties has it. Everyone, that is, except those who actually need attention, people without life choices, people too poor to wonder, at 26, whether they should be an architect or a fireman.
Niko Karvounis says:
Here here. Though I'm guilty of a mild mid-20s meltdown myself, I quickly realized that it was only the product of having too MANY options, like most people in my boat who have the luxury of reflecting on which exciting/lucrative/prestigious/self-actualizing path to choose for their lives. While all that can be overwhelming, you can't really feel that bad about it for too long if you're a reasonable person with any sort of perspective on life and your place in society...
Tatyana Shumsky says:
In the ever popular six sigma process operations managers define project goals and processes, then measure and analyze how this process functions and improve or optimize the methods of operation.
Applied to your personal life, this means defining your life goals and regularly re-examining them. Even if to reaffirm you are gaining ground in the right direction, or perhaps to ask yourself whether there's more you could be doing to achieve what you set out for yourself.
Cutting all the drama out of it, this can actually become a useful life tool for keeping yourself on track.
But the word "crisis" has such headline sex appeal... and if you're going to be dramatic, please get it over and done with before you hit 35.
tched says:
No we can't ditch the quarterlife crisis... this would inevitably make John Mayer completely irrelevant and so you can see my objection.
(Good article btw.)