You can’t see me, but believe me when I tell you that I’m holding my nose as I write this: I actually have something positive to say about Jon and Kate and one aspect of how they are parenting their “8″ in the midst of their divorce proceedings.  Jon recently told PopEater.com that despite the ugliness between him and Kate, they are spending the holidays together with the kids so that “they have the sense of security with everything that’s going on.”  This is such a co-parenting “win”-for parents to allow their children to enjoy as many family traditions and routines as possible after a break-up-that I’m putting aside my earlier moratorium on writing about Jon and Kate in order to give them much-deserved kudos.

If you are familiar with CoParenting101.org, the site I co-founded with my ex-husband, you’ll know that on principle we’ve shied away from writing about this trainwreck of a break-up.  We felt that the Gosselins should have pulled the plug on their show, Jon & Kate Plus 8. We know from our family’s experience that divorce without cameras rolling is traumatic enough for kids.  Having it unfold on reality TV for the nation’s entertainment is just pouring salt in the wound-not to mention, irresponsible parenting.

But I like to give credit where it’s due, and I’m trusting that the kids won’t be subjected to A Very Special Jon & Kate Plus 8: A Gosselin Family Christmas.  In fact, I’m rooting for Jon and Kate to use the holidays as an opportunity to turn over a new leaf and embrace other core co-parenting principles.  Up until now, they have been a study in how not to co-parent, publicly at least.  It seems that Jon and his various paramours have gone out of their way to put his dating life front and center far too soon after the Gosselin separation-and, well, before the Gosselin separation.  Further, Jon and Kate both have skewered each other in interviews.  This public sniping and Jon’s pathetic “Dad Gone Wild” displays certainly aren’t in the best interest of their children.

Even if Jon and Kate have somehow managed to keep their moppets away from the ubiquitous tabloid and TV coverage of their messy divorce, all it takes is for one classmate to spill the beans.  Have Jon and Kate forgotten how cruel kids can be?

Unfortunately, given Jon’s $5 million counter-suit against TLC for “interfering with potential business opportunities”, and TLC’s suit against him for breach of contract, he doesn’t appear to be shutting up any time soon. For her part, Kate has insisted that her kids aren’t hurt by the TV show and the media focus on their parents’ nasty divorce.  On TLC’s Very Special You Ask, Kate Answers special, she responded to viewers’ questions about her children’s welfare, saying, “They’re not suffering from this.”  She also believes that it’s too late to give her children the privacy they deserve.  Earlier this month, in still another Very Special interview on TLC, Kate Gosselin: Her Story, she explained: “We’re too far gone. Stepping out of the spotlight when it’s prudent to do so is a good thing.”

It’s never too late to try to do better by your kids, Kate.  (That’s one of those pesky co-parenting principles you’ve been ignoring.) You might have gone too far, and some child psychologists speculate that your kids may even be experiencing “withdrawal” at the idea of losing the nice cars and other luxuries that come with the show.  But it’s up to you and Jon to be grown-up enough to say…enough.

Hope springs eternal, and for the sake of their kids, I’ve got my fingers crossed that Jon and Kate will celebrate the holidays and ring in 2010 with a self-imposed media blackout, that the “alleged” show finale airing on November 23 really will be The End, and that TLC really has put the kibosh on the proposed Kate Plus 8.

Ultimately, it may be their tarnished “brand” and the turning tide of public opinion, and not a sudden case of conscience, that will force Jon and Kate to do the right thing.

Photo by connectionsprep

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