Let me say right off that talking about aging parents is not sexy, nor does it make for a sexy dialogue. Aging is complicated. Parents (having them and being one) are complicated. Therefore: aging + parents = infinite complications.
I should know. I have cared for both my parents and have a license in clinical social work. I worked for a huge healthcare system in their home health department and I heard family stories. Lots of them.
I heard about the kids who cared for their grandparents—and their aging parents. And I heard complaints about the kids who didn’t care. In the privacy of their homes, with oxygen tanks whirring and IVs dripping, I talked to my patients about their cancer, about hospice, 
about God, about no God, and about running out of money. I tried to explain that you can’t make a narcissistic mother more loving at age 75 (nor should you expect to) and that, no, your father is probably not faking memory loss at 80. I heard patients weep, saw the fear in their children’s and grandchildren’s eyes when the reality of death registered; saw other people get on their cell phones to avoid the conversation, or turn on the TV to drown it out.
Now, for the first time in years (and because The Faster Times suggested I do) I’m writing about my experiences in hopes of understanding the bigger picture of aging—and aging parents (and grandparents)—as well as the personal. What I’m going to do is scour the media and post about news as it relates to aging + parents, and items that about aging that can relate to parents as well. I’ll look at the story with a clinical eye, hoping to shed some light (and insight) on the story behind (and beneath) the story. This is what I think helps us make better decisions for ourselves and those we care about and for.
I hope you’ll find something here if you are caring for a sick parent, a parent who always seems to need help you don’t know how to give (or want to), or a parent who won’t accept the help you’ve offered. I hope you’ll find you’re not alone.
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More on these topics:
aging, aging parents, caregivers, clinical issues, grandparents, loss, love, nursing homes, older adults, parents, psychologists, social workers
Alexandra says:
Glad to hear you will be writing about this important topic. I cared for my aging parents for ten years, yes one tenth of my expected life span. People were always surprised by this choice. My daughters told me to put their grandmother in a nursing home at the end of her life. She died peacefully, in her own bedroom. Being with her was a gift. Caring for elderly parents at home is not for everyone. But I am so glad I did not take my daughters' advice. I hope the young today change their way of thinking about aging elderly people. Perhaps your blog will contribute to the knowledge that is out there? I certainly hope so and look forward to reading more here.
MarthaAndMe says:
This sounds like a terrific blog and I will definitely be following it. This is such an important topic - and one that has a lot of taboos involved as well.
Sheryl says:
Meredith - So glad you are offering both your compassion and experience to this topic. It's starting to hit me and all my friends as our parents age. I'm looking forward to learning all I can.
Melanie McMinn says:
Not an easy subject, but an important one. My darling man's parents are about the age of my grandparents, so we will reach this bridge with them before I do with my own. But the time is coming. I'll be reading.
Christine says:
I agree with the other comments. Not an easy topic but I think there is much we will learn from you on this. Thank you for writing on this.
sarah henry says:
Meredith,
This is an area ripe for writing and you have the personal and professional credentials for the subject.
In another life, about two years ago, I worked as a senior editor at Caring.com, a new site devoted to this very topic, of caring for your aging and ailing loved ones. You may find it a good resource.
Another is the The New Old Age blog, started by NYT reporter Jane Gross.
Look forward to reading your future dispatches.
MyKidsEatSquid says:
Meredith--
I'm glad you'll be guiding us through your thoughts and insights about caring for aging parents.
judy stock says:
Meredith-
This topic is having its time. And, now is when to do it. Thanks for starting something!
judy
Susan says:
Great topic, Meredith! I've already lost one parent and it's been challenging helping the other one navigate life after loss. Fortunately, my younger brother is a great support system!
Kris says:
This should be a really interesting exploration, Meredith. As yet, I've not had to deal with ailing parents, though they are aging . But, sooner or later it's bound to happen. I'll be watching for your take on this topic.
Katherine says:
Thank you so much for tackling this subject! My parents are about to move in with us. Initially, they are going to be a lot of help with our young children. But I know eventually they are going to need more help from us than they provide... So I will come here for guidance!
Jennifer Margulis says:
My FIL has cancer and is definitely feeling his age. I plan to check back often. Thank you for writing about this.